Matthew throws a women party and it’s not at all what you might think. Becky gets catcalled on the dog eat dog streets of Seattle.

This is a somen slide and it’s very important when throwing a women party.

In this week’s book, Ali and Al run a bakery in Manhattan called HoneyBun. There’s some police brutality protest nearby and this may or may not be good for business. There’s also some romance shit. Whatever, the excerpt was so short we didn’t read enough to care.

Next book: Crapkiller (Sol System Renegades) by Felix R. Savage

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God this book preview dragged on and on. We decided it should have the quote “Like West Wing, with the sound turned off” on the front cover.

So instead of talking about the book, we spent more time talking about dead birds and creepy shit I pulled up from the bottom of the ocean.

Here’s some hot sea cucumber action:

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We couldn’t understand most of the words in this book, so we spent a lot of time talking about uncool food, lube jobs and water sports.

Next book: In Sheep’s Clothing

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Matthew and I have many, many million dollar ideas and we are sharing them with you today. Go, make them happen. Don’t forget us when you make your first $5.

We break down The Bobby Gold (Stein) Stories where ample drug, cop, prison and kitchen references mark it firmly in classic Bourdain territory. Matthew talks about his time in the hoosegow —big house or slammer, if you prefer — because he’s a bad, bad, man.

Next book: The Thief’s Daughter (The Kingfountain Series Book 2), by Jeff Wheeler

P.S. We were so wrong about what the drug ‘hydro’ is. it’s hydrocodone, not hydroponic weed or heirloom tomatoes.

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Today’s word of the day: FRENUM. Listen in to find out how we used it.

3 brothers lust for 3 Amish girls. Brody Bunch. Get it? We spend 10 minutes talking about this bore of a book, and the rest of the time talking about frenums. Can you pluralize frenum? Freni?

Next book: The Bobby Gold Stories by Anthony Bourdain

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Join us for a rousing conversation with blogger, Instagrammer and snort-a-rifically amazing Lauren Cunningham about Hell’s Kitchen by Aiden Bates.

Check out Lauren’s blog Red Lips and Tortilla Chips and fantastic Instagram account (her photos are stunning).

Next book: Next book: PRIDE: A Bad Boy and Amish Girl Romance (The Brody Bunch Book 1)

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On today’s show we interview Libbie Hawker, the author of Mercer Girls, Tidewater, the best-selling novel writing guide Take Off Your Pants, and 20 other books. We learn more than we ever needed to know about bird boners. Find out more about Libbie on her website.

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Matthew walks up to a drive-thru bikini espresso place, because he’s an anarchist. Meanwhile, on the other side of town, Becky nearly dies trying to save a chocolate croissant in a game of chicken with a Metro bus.

In our book this week, we read the follow up to Jana Aston’s Wrong (where the college age central character pines for her gynecologist) – this time the protagonist pines for her brother’s best friend. Meanwhile, some older creepy-ish guy giving her a ride to college is trying to git her in bed. Let’s reflect that this book is called Right.

Next up we review a person, not a book. 😉 Libbie Hawker, author of more books than Matthew and I have ever read. We will get a chance to ask her questions about shape-shifting and romance writing and you can too. Drop your question in the comments below.

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Matthew is voted Marketer of the Year, by no one ever, when he gets tongue-tied in front of a cute fan. Becky gives the young woman a book and then awkwardly asks for it back.

In this week’s episode, Matthew and Becky go deep into the MMA romance new adult genre. A genre that we never knew existed. Guess what? It’s a thing.

Next book: Right by Jana Aston

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Matthew looks for the beach at the Lompoc Federal Correctional Institution. Becky, meanwhile, co-wrote a book called Not One Shrine, while Matthew was away. It’s for sale now — go get it here.

This book was suggested to us by Elizabeth Chuang. Here’s a quick summary: One lady cop; One lady cop dog; One creepy sexist pig detective.

Next book: Punching and Kissing by Helena Newbury

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